215124

Joke of the Day

"I artificially inseminated a cow this morning! It's true! No bull!"

"Lactose intolerance stems from lactose IGNORANCE"

"What did the customer say to the barber after looking at a facial hair catalog? I moustache you a question about this style shown here, good sir."

"[skydiving, first jump] INSTRUCTOR: everyone ready? EAGLE: yes. HAWK: check. SPARROW: ready. PENGUIN: this is a really bad idea."

"How many animals can you fit in a condom? A cock and a couples of hares! Source: I was told this in a bar tonight and felt the need to share it!"

"What do you say when you see your television floating in the night? Drop it, nigga! What do you say when you see your refrigerator floating in the night? Nothing. That's a big-ass nigga."

"All barcode tattoos ring up as ranch dressing. Every single one of them."

"Watching my son's soccer game in the cold and rain cuz I'm a good Mom. From my heated car cuz I'm not a total idiot."

"You know how they say ""Good guys finish last""? Maybe thats why my mistress has never had an orgasm..."

"What are a plumber's favorite shoes? Clogs"