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Joke of the Day

"Watching my son's soccer game in the cold and rain cuz I'm a good Mom. From my heated car cuz I'm not a total idiot."

"Why was Jesus the father of exercise? Because he was cross fit"

"I would love to give Rachel Riley a cream 3.14159265359"

"Why do geologists perform so well during intercourse? They really know how to make bedrock."

"When Miley Cyrus gets naked and licks a hammer..it's ""art"" and ""music"". But when I do it...I'm ""wasted"", and ""have to leave Home Depot""."

"Just farted in my cat's face. That's what we call a power move, gentlemen."

"Q: How many Sagittarians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Look ask me when I get back from India okay?"

"I wish Candy Canes were shaped less awkward and tasted more like cocaine."

"TIFU getting fired from the calendar factory All I did was take a day off."

"What do you call a guy who is afraid of Santa? Claustrophobic!"