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Joke of the Day

"What do you get if you encase Beyonce in rubber and drop her off a cliff? Bouncy Beyonce."

"Erotic literature for premature ejaculators ------------------- Chapter 1. ------------------- She looked at him. ------------------- The end. -------------------"

"Maybe my threats will be more effective if, after I mentioned all the people I've killed, I don't say, ""in RuneScape."""

"I can't recall the hunchback of Notre Dame's name Does Quasimodo ring a bell?"

"How does a nihilist propose to his fiancee? ""Even though my existence is meaningless I want to spend the rest of it with you."""

"What do you call a fight between a Mexican and Jared Fogle? Alien vs Predator."

"What do you get if you cross an illiterate african american with an illegal hispanic immigrant looking for a green card? A U.S soldier."

"What kind of photos do turtles take? Shellfies"

"ME: I wonder if it wrestles cutely too? ZOOKEEPER: Sir, get out of the panda enclosure. ME: lol. No. *gets mauled to death by panda*"

"I would like to thank President Donald Trump on behalf of my wife... suddenly the thousands I invested into Canadian dating sites wasn't so worthless after all."