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Joke of the Day

"I would really love to see how Michaelangelo managed to paint that ceiling with his nunchucks."

"Actually, this is my first rodeo. Why is that angry cow trying to kill me?"

"I am at my most drunk when I go from chat room to chat room yelling WHO STOLE MY POPTART!!"

"So a cannibal was eating his sister- No, wait. It was a hillbilly..."

"My girlfriend said she liked surprises. But you should have seen her face when I told her I have chlamydia."

"What is the best way to send a letter to the Easter Bunny? By hare (air) mail."

"Oh really, Carol? It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown? How many muscles does it take you to mind your own business"

"Why do Central Americans hop the U.S. Border in groups of 4 or more? Because the sign says no tres-passing."

"What do you call emotions of a DNA? Gene expressions"

"I have a friend whose thighs don't touch..I was jealous until a breeze came up..It sounded like a turbo fan in wind tunnel. Small favors."