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Joke of the Day

"I work in a deli and put my cock in the bagel slicer. I got fired... ... and so did she."

"What does a white girl and the numbers 3,5,7,and 9 have in common They can't even"

"Wife: Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune? Husband: Not at all honey, I would love you no matter who left you the money."

"Do Wilma Flintstone got a booty? She yabba-dabba dooooooo!"

"*i before e except after c. Unless you're an 8yo heir planning a heist to seize a surveillance sleigh owned by a sheik at a reindeer farm."

"ME: ""I don't like this movie."" HIM: ""We are at a funeral."" ME: ""Who directed this?"" HIM: ""A bear attack."" ME: ""Never heard of him."""

"Why was the cop absent from work? He had swine flu"

"I found an plot of soil yesterday. I went back to the site today and found even more soil... The plot thickens..."

"What would Bill Nye be called if he spoke to ghosts? Bill Nye the Seance guy."

"What's the difference between a yoghurt and the USA? If left for 400 years, the yoghurt will develop a culture."