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Joke of the Day

"Some guys beat me up with brass knuckles in broad daylight. It was a pretty brazen act of violence."

"God's recreational activity is to destroy the whole universe and create it again."

"Taking the lives away from 12 baby chicks. Bought an egg carton at the grocery store..."

"RT if you just read Facebook for the ads"

"My girlfriend says I have compulsive lying disorder... ...she's right; I don't have a girlfriend."

"Do you know why the Little Mermaid wears seashells? Because A and B shells were too small"

"I saw a guy struggling with the frozen vending machine trying to get some ice cream. Really paralleled my attempts to reach my ex-girlfriend's heart."

"Xerox and Wurlitzer are going to merge... They're going to market reproductive organs."

"Jack and Jill went up the hill so jack could lick her candy... But Jack got a shock And a mouth full of cock Cause Jill's real name was Randy"

"Two muffins are sitting in an oven One looks to the other and says ""man it's hot in here"" The other looks back and says ""HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN"""