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Joke of the Day

"As a fat guy I never really have more pep in my step... But I do occasionally get a little more throttle in my waddle."

"[doc pulls baby out of mom and immediately slides it under his shirt] oh no NOW I'M PREGNANT haha no [pulls it out] just kidding here you go"

"Have you heard about the new supersensitive condoms? They hang around after the man leaves and talk to the woman."

"I pulled my groin the other day.. .. It felt so good, I pulled it one more time."

"You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts."

"When I see battlestar gallactica, I feel this! Cylons are bunch of mean girls."

"What's a pirate's favorite amino acid? Aaaaaaaarrrrrginine...."

"What did the Buddhist monk say when he approached the hotdog stand? Make me one with everything."

"I'd hate to be Turkey this Christmas."

"Three Men Walk Into A Bar The bartender then says... ""How'd you guys get in here?"""