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Joke of the Day

"Have you had a German hotdog? They're the wurst"

"Hey, what's the difference between reddit and LOTR? In the books and movies, the trolls didn't type."

"I tried to take a photo of a huge bug in my bathroom, but when I put a coin next to it for scale IT TOOK THE COIN AND PUT IT IN ITS WALLET."

"Science at its finest. Why are all subatomic particles gay? Because they are all atoms"

"Me: ""I came to Twitter to be creative and express myself."" Twitter: lol, you said ""came""."

"Why did the perv go into Victoria's Secret? The panties were half off"

"I wish I could play little league again. I'd be so much better now."

"What vegetable has the most sexual self-control? The cuecummer!"

"Do I believe in climate change? Uhh yeah I believe... it DOESN'T EXIST AHH HAHA (a fiery gull falls out of the sky) HAhaha hey fire bird"

"""People will believe anything if you whisper it."""