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Joke of the Day
"""People will believe anything if you whisper it."""
Next Joke
"Just told a guy talking on his phone in the library to shut the fuck up Everyone applauded me, so I told them to shut the fuck up, too."
"What's the difference between karate and judo? Karate is a method of self defense and judo is what bagels are made of."
"What are apricots? Where monkeys sleep."
"Roommate: (looking over my shoulder at my files) What's ""goat_in_heels.wav"" (I slam my laptop shut & throw it through a closed window)"
"What did the fisher say to the fishkin? Catch you later"
"A Puerto Rican meteorologist sought counseling. When asked ""why?"" he replied, ""Tropical Depression."""
"Every year there is a race from one side of Sweden to the other... They start at the Norwegian line and end up at the Finnish line."
"I wish scientists could make us as indestructible as cartoons. I've got a list of people I'd like to drop an anvil on."
"If all the corner pieces of a cake are gone, I calmly pull the emergency icing out of my purse & frost the edges of an inside piece."