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Joke of the Day

"The only thing I've learned from scary movies is to avoid pale children"

"Ladies, if you get in an argument with a guy and you have no chance of winning, start playing with your boobs. Trust me on this one."

"What did the number 0 say to the number 8? Nice belt. :)"

"Polish math prodigy Knock knock! Who's there? Polish math prodigy with slurred speech. Polish math prodigy with slurred speech who? Toomasz Whizzski"

"You didn't like it. I was gunna tell u a joke about my time machine"

"What did the donkey say to its dick? That's a pretty big donkey dick."

"Give a man a fish and chances are you won't be asked to be in charge of buying a gift ""from all of us"" anymore."

"""Why are the good ones always taken?"" - Me, staring at the assorted cookie tray"

"Husband: I called my boss ""Honey"" today. Wife: What? Why? H: He was shouting at me and telling me I was wrong, and it just slipped out."

"Offense: When it's a legal matter, it's pronounced o-FENCE. When it's sports, it's pronounced OFF-ence. Climbing... ? A fence."