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Joke of the Day

"Offense: When it's a legal matter, it's pronounced o-FENCE. When it's sports, it's pronounced OFF-ence. Climbing... ? A fence."

"My crushes are like the sun They're hot and if I stare for too long, I get hurt."

"Trump wants to pass a law banning grocery stores from selling shredded cheese... ... in order to ""make America Grate again"""

"I've thought about it, and there still is no good reason for me to grow up."

"I bought a pair of sneakers from my drug dealer. I don't know what he laced it with because I have been tripping all week."

"Things to do before I start the thing I am supposed to be doing: All of the things."

"What do you get when you cross and owl and a bungie cord? . . . . . . . . . . ...My ass"

" Why did the snowman smile? Because the snowblower is coming."

"Orange Julius is the third best thing to happen to oranges behind mimosas and the ""orange you glad I didn't say banana"" knock knock joke"

"How did Copernicus become the first Polish astronomer? He was the first one in the country to look up."