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Joke of the Day

"Give a man a fish and chances are you won't be asked to be in charge of buying a gift ""from all of us"" anymore."

"Some people should put professional victim on their resume"

"I figured out how to talk to girls Just walk up to them and press A."

"I started a business selling landmines that resemble prayer mats. Prophets are through the roof."

"Whisper ""whey protein"" into a mirror three times if you want a straight white man to come out of it and talk at you"

"Take a stand against childhood obesity by chasing little fat kids down the street."

"This girl's skinny jeans are so Goddamn tight, I think I finally know what a Pancreas looks like."

"What do you call a prostitute with white eyes? Full up."

"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? You don't tell her anything anymore, you've already explained twice."

"I'm writing a book called 'Stop Overreacting.' If no one buys it I'm going to kill myself."