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Joke of the Day

"Kermit and Miss Piggy are in bed and Miss Piggy says ""Kermit what are you going to do to my asshole tonight"" Kermit replied ""Rippit""."

"My wife is extremely pissed off At least my girlfriend understands"

"A dad joke which you can use.. Young Man: I've come to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage. Girl's Father: You've got to take all of her or it's no deal."

"If Twitter has taught me anything in 6 years, it's ""that"" is the most unnecessary word in the English language."

"Hey why isn't Phil Hughes playing in the test today? Oh didn't you hear, he was the first Australian to be killed by ebola!"

"What does a redditor say when he is asked ""What country did the missing plane come from?"" *tips fedora* M'laysia."

"Y'all tweet like you don't know it only takes 2 doctors to commit you."

"When it boils down to it water is just steam."

"What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch? An ingestigation"

"I'm so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed."