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Joke of the Day

"Kermit and Miss Piggy are in bed and Miss Piggy says ""Kermit what are you going to do to my asshole tonight"" Kermit replied ""Rippit""."

"How do you make the 12th man Happy? FIRE BEVELL"

"a man goes to a library and asks for a book on suicide......... Librarian stares at him for a while, then asks: Who's gonna bring it back ?"

"Had a dream last night.. about eating a giant marshmallow. When I woke up in the morning, I noticed my pillow was missing."

"have you tried subways new jared special? two small buns with extra mayo"

"What do you call a Spaniard kissing a door? A Conquistador!"

"My wife and I decided to have kids... ...for lunch. Fried children are yummy."

"Old, but gold A woman goes to the market. She says to the greengrocer: ""I would like to purchase a cucumber"" The vendor answers: ""Buy two, so you can eat one"""

"How do mice celebrate when they move home ? With a mouse warming party !"

"What do Hitler and teenage girls have in common? They both use chemicals to remove the polish."