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Joke of the Day

"What do Hitler and teenage girls have in common? They both use chemicals to remove the polish."

"I'm expended, I'm expensive, And I'm expanded. ... Ijkwim."

"We're working on saving our second million. The first one didn't go so well."

"St-t-t-t-top! Stamm-mm-m-m-mm-m-mer t-t-t-time!"

"Why were the Native Americans upset when it rained in April? Because April showers, bring May flowers!"

"I hope I'm never behind Johnny Depp going through airport security. Watching him take off all those accessories would be sad."

"What's ET short for? He's only got little legs"

"What do you call a crazy bug on the moon? A lunar tick."

"You lost me at ""my psychic said.."""

"*feeds you Cheetos while running my fingers through your hair*"