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Joke of the Day
"Now my friends all hate me because I've been keeping my enemies closer."
Next Joke
"Me: k well my phones gonna die so I'll ttyl Mom: But ur office is a landline? Me: oh...so it is....K well the building is on fire, sooo ttyl"
"My mum's sister always builds up jokes and then the punch lines turn out to be shit. Auntie Climax."
"What's the biggest difference between an oral and rectal thermometer? The taste."
"The inventor of throat lozenges has died. There'll be no coffin at his funeral."
"What do you call Italian marijuana? A pizza joint"
"I get a lot of compliments on my stamp collection but philately will get you nowhere."
"I was given a book, ""How to play the didgeridoo."" All the pages are empty besides one that says, ""Far away from me."""
"A guy gans into the butcher's... ... and says ""Gie us a steak and kidley pie."" So the butcher laughs and goes ""You just said kidley."" And the goes ""Naw, I didley."""
"What do you call a stolen Tesla? An Edison"