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Joke of the Day

"My mum's sister always builds up jokes and then the punch lines turn out to be shit. Auntie Climax."

"Breaking up with Japanese Girls. I hate to breakup with Japanese girls because you have to drop the bomb twice before they get it."

"Knock Knock Who's there? Ah Ah who? God bless you"

"[being mugged] ME: can i keep things of sentimental value? ROBBER: ok ME:[pulling things from wallet] my favorite cash...my lucky debit card"

"Secretly adding a tablespoon of butter to everything he eats is my long-term exit plan."

"What does Paul Inces mum make for Christmas ? Ince pies !"

"What do you say to a man with no legs? Nothing, he'll shoot you."

"""We do not negotiate with Pterodactyls.""- President Barack Obamasaurus"

"[seaworld] ""Hey what happened to the new guy?"" -He tried to have sex with the dolphin in tank 6 ""But there's a shark in tan.."" -BINGO!"

"[DIY] How to turn your dishwasher into a snowblower Buy the bitch a shovel"