34663

Joke of the Day

"What's the biggest difference between an oral and rectal thermometer? The taste."

"I've hated dentists way before they started killing lions."

"What do you call a bird that drunkenly conveys a compelling perspective on racial hatred? Tequila Mockingbird."

"""I'm excited for the continental breakfast"" *sees a buffet just full of ice cubes* ""What the..."" Sign: Today's Continent is Antartica"

"Try our curry, you'll never get better I don't get what's so funny about it, do you mind explaining it like I'm 5?"

"My dad would always say this, I don't know if this classifies as a joke, but it's funny I'm busier than a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest Also: That smell could knock a buzzard off a shitpile"

"2 Jews walk into a bank. Bartender looks at them and says, ""Damn, I'm in the wrong joke."""

"[aquarium] Me: ""That's a lot of octopussies to occupy a tank."" Guide: ""it's octopi."" Me: ""Oh..that's a lot of octopussies to octopi a tank."""

"What do you call a camel with three humps? Pregnant"

"I haven't really been as disappointed as I was when I realised that the movie 'Breakfast Club', actually had nothing to do with food"