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Joke of the Day
"Why could Thor's daughter never try anal? Because her father was an Ass-guardian. Ba dum tussss.."
Next Joke
"Its amazing how much power a simple clipboard can wield. Today I fired my boss. What could he say? I have the clipboard."
"After cribbing about yet another one of my Pranks, I told my girlfriend that she ""Can't take a Joke"" ""I let u put your cock in me don't I"" she replied."
"What's a communists favourite sporting event? Commonwealth Games"
"Today is the 1 year anniversary of the day i decided to get sober. And tomorrow is the anniversary of the day I decided sobriety wasn't for me."
"What is better than roses on a piano? Tulips on an organ!"
"Seriously guys, people drive like shit when I'm tweeting"
"Where did Abdelhamid Abaaoud do most of his craft shopping? Wahabi Lobby."
"Why did the masseuse give her lawyer a happy ending? She thought he could come in handy. (I'll let myself out)"
"Apparently someone gets stabbed every 52 seconds in London Poor guy"