214467

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a computer that farts? A compooter. 8D"

"On The Topic Of Relationships Today, a feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships. Apparently ""in HD"" was not the right answer."

"What's the difference between Reddit and Voat? Reddit doesn't constantly have reposts from the other site."

"No thanks, alcohol free mouthwash, my life is depressing enough."

"They should do a scene in a comedy movie where someone rides their bike into a parked car."

"I hear there's a pre-credit stinger in Batman v. Superman But it's not worth sticking around for."

"[at work] CW: Hey, I found your Twi... Me: *jumps out window* CW: ...Twinkies."

"Dont lie about your job, just word it better. Ex: ""I handle client transactions at a fortune 500 multi-national corp"" vs ""I cashier at KFC"""

"Why don't old people have sex? Have you ever tried to open a grilled cheese sandwich?"

"They say ""dress for the job you want,"" but this space suit chafes and I'm not convinced that Arby's is truly committed to a space program."