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Joke of the Day

"Dont lie about your job, just word it better. Ex: ""I handle client transactions at a fortune 500 multi-national corp"" vs ""I cashier at KFC"""

"Why does it take so long for a pro-lifer to screw in a lightbulb? They love to watch mistakes being made."

"A woman behind me got run over today. She was following me on twitter."

"Q:What did the German Police office say to his nipple. A:*You are under a vest.*"

"What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rabbit? A dead rabbit with a big hole."

"What do you call an aardvark that's just lost a fight? A vark!"

"Vibrato: Used by fretless players to hide the fact that they are on the wrong pitch."

"""Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed."""

"What did one atom say to the other? Thank you for your help in this matter!"

"Did you hear what happened to the blind circumcision doctor? He got the sack.."