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Joke of the Day

"""It's a banana in my pocket"" ""May I remind the defendant that he's under oath?"" *averts eyes* ""I'm glad to see you"""

"I have a useless talent."

"TIL the american flag planted on the moon is now completely white due to radiation from the sun. Great, now future archeologists are gonna think the French got there first."

"Why is Jesus terrible in bed? Because it takes three days for him to rise again, and two thousand years to come twice."

"I made a list of my favorite asses... It's a big ass list."

"chuck norris's tears cure cancer, too bad he's never cried."

"If they give you a bib for lobster, they should definitely give you a diaper for Indian food."

"What do you call a pirate cartoon? An animatee!"

"Yo mama's so dumb she bought WinRar."

"What did the pirate say when asked how old he was? Aye Matey!"