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Joke of the Day

"TIL the american flag planted on the moon is now completely white due to radiation from the sun. Great, now future archeologists are gonna think the French got there first."

"Psychic wanted: You know where to apply."

"What do you call Batman who skips church? Christian Bail"

"Haven't refilled my prescriptions in a while. Which has been instrumental creating the mass grave beneath this wood shed."

"Why couldn't the hipsters save the hippies? They were too far out."

"You never really see how toxic someone is until you breathe fresher air."

"Talking about me behind my back? Good. My ass likes attention."

"Just saw a billboard that said, ""Texting & Driving Is Dangerous!"" Hahaha... that's so lamOMG I JUST HIT A CIRCUS ELEPHANT!!!"

"What's black and hard? Cast iron."

"Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound."