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Joke of the Day

"TIL the american flag planted on the moon is now completely white due to radiation from the sun. Great, now future archeologists are gonna think the French got there first."

"what do you call a deaf Gorilla? Anything you like he cannot hear you"

"Where did Lisa go during the bombardment.. Everywhere"

"Yet again my date made me get out of his car before we'd even had dinner. Uber is the worst dating app ever."

"What do you call a leper in a hot tub? Soup"

"How do you get Sigmund Freud to screw a lightbulb? Tell him the lightbulb is his mother."

"Words can't describe how beautiful you are... But numbers can. 2/10"

"Bricks and mortar are so passe. I going to live in my homepage."

"Mum: How come your friend ______ hasn't been around lately? Me: Because he turned into a cunt."

"Why were 80% of Chicago police dash cams broken? Because you need to warm up before you kill a nigga."