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Joke of the Day

"[speed dating] Me: Have you ever choked someone? ""No I would never do something like that"" Me: Next"

"Why don't black people go on cruises? They're not falling for that one again."

"The worst thing about a prison tattoo is always having to explain why you got a tattoo of a prison."

"Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? Because every time she gets to 69 she gets a little frog stuck in her throat."

"It is a scientific fact that the gravitational pull of a woman's cleavage on a man's eyes is too strong to be fought!!!"

"""Ok, hear me out. What if we gave people enough for three fries?"" -guy who invented ketchup packets"

"[Jedi Training] TRAINER: Any questions? STUDENT: Can the Force be with me? TRAINER: I don't know...CAN it? STUDENT: Oh right...May the Force"

"Hi I'm an evil ghost with the ability to defy time & space, but I think the best example of my powers will be to slightly close this door."

"Did you hear about Hellen Keller's tree house? Neither did she."

"Why I'm leaving Reddit. I have to go to the gas station to pick up some munchies."