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Joke of the Day

"Hi I'm an evil ghost with the ability to defy time & space, but I think the best example of my powers will be to slightly close this door."

"I went fishing but didn't catch any fish It was a failure."

"*doctor lifts sheet so wife can identify the body* why is he smiling? ""the last thing he heard was that his blood pressure was 69 over 69"""

"I think my roommate might be gay his dick tastes like shit!"

"Why did the left alt key and the right alt key break up? They needed some space."

"Earlier today I had a Titanic thought. It was *unthinkable*."

"ALCOHOL. Because no good story ever began with, ""So, I was sitting there eating this salad..."""

"A woman walks into a bar. She asks the bartender for a double entendre, and the bartender gives it to her."

"Apparently ""some assembly required"" is IKEA for ""here's a beech tree and some nails."""

"How can you tell the inventor of the toothbrush was from West Virginia? If he was from anywhere else it would be called a teethbrush."