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Joke of the Day

"Big things DO NOT always come in small packages! I wish someone had told me the truth before I pounced on this adorable midget. Poor fella."

"What do they tell people who flunk out of astronaut academy? ""The sky's the limit for you""."

"Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK."

"The Energizer Bunny was arrested today... He was charged with battery."

"What food, when consumed by a female, causes a complete loss of desire? Wedding cake."

"What do you get if you cross a mosquito and a mountain climber? No one knows. You can't cross a vector and a scalar."

"I added someone as a friend 2 years ago but they haven't responded. They must be really busy."

"Doctor, doctor I broke my arm in two places. Doctor: Stop going to those places."

"What did the green grape say to the purple grape? ""Breathe damn it, breathe!"""

"Startup idea: Toilet Paper App. Wipe your ass with your actual phone. Reusable."