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Joke of the Day

"What do you get if you cross a mosquito and a mountain climber? No one knows. You can't cross a vector and a scalar."

"What did the boy say when his dog died? I'm gonna miss you buddy, you were my best friend."

"Why did the condom fly away? It got pissed off."

"I'm not saying it's hard for me to lose weight, I'm just saying if you interrupt me when I'm eating I'm starting over."

"I didn't come here tonight to win a popularity contest. Is there one though? Because that will probably affect my behaviour."

"*ring ring* Hello? ""If u want to see ur son again give me $500,000"" OH GOD PLEASE DONT HURT HIM ""I won't if u-"" Haha gotcha, leave a message"

"The teacher asks little Timmy why he brought his cat into school... and he replied, "" My daddy said to my mommy he's going to eat that pussy tonight!"""

"Reddit is like Porn...... No matter what weird shit you are into there is a category for it."

"Eating broccoli is a lot like anal sex... If you're forced to have it as a kid, it's less enjoyable when you're an adult."

"The Tortoise and the Hare is a classic story about how people who like to run are awful."