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Joke of the Day

"Research has shown that girls do NOT go to Jupiter to get more stupider. They actually go to Venus. For uh, *shuffles papers* for stuff"

"What did the green grape say to the purple grape? - ""Breathe, stupid!"""

"What denomination are the coins in Super Mario Bros? They're dollar coins, because a quarter is two bits, which means a dollar is 8 bits."

"Who hired those 10 Americans to go to Brazil and pretend like they like soccer?"

"Honey, I'm afraid we can't get married anymore. weed_hitler69 just told me I was gay. *looks at Xbox* Thank you sir. You've changed my life."

"Current anger level: I am last-beer-in-the-fridge-turns-out-to-be-a-soy-sauce-bottle angry."

"My love life is like my video game I always play single player, and I can never find anyone who wants to play co-op"

"Sometimes I kidnap holes filled with water *Well, well, well... What have we here?*"

"How Many People Do the Police Have to Kill to Start a Riot? 3/5ths"

"Tweeting this from the bathroom because it's the 21st century and that's what we do now."