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Joke of the Day

"If a tree falls in the forest, does anybody hear? Yes. Chuck Norris hears it. Chuck Norris can hear everything. Chuck Norris can hear the shrieking terror in your soul."

"My girlfriend. ..probably tells me a lot that I don't listen to her."

"NSFW Your dick's like Mt. Everest... It's hard to get up."

"I'm usually exited for winter... But then I get cold feet."

"Flo: Try some of my sponge cake. Joe: It's a bit tough. Flo: That's strange. I only bought the sponge from the chemist this morning."

"The best part of a handshake is the knuckles. I dunno why, but the blender just brings out their richness and flavour"

"I stopped a kidnapping today.. I woke him up"

"What did the evergreen tree say to it's love interest? ""Oh, how I pine for you!"""

"Blind Masturbation Championships Went to the blind masturbation championships the other day. No idea where I came."

"Finding Nemo (2003) A father is criticized for being overprotective after his wife & kids are murdered & his only surviving son is kidnapped"