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Joke of the Day

"I'm usually exited for winter... But then I get cold feet."

"What did the Japanese woman do when the Titanic sank? She raughed (raft)."

"What's large, black and steals your credit cards? Sony Playstation"

"There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binary Those who don't And those who weren't expecting a base-3 joke."

"I have only two requests for when I die. #1. I want my remains scattered around Wrigley Field. \#2. I don't want to be cremated first."

"Why couldn't the lifeguard save the drowning hippie? [x-post from r/gratefuldead ] Because he was too far out man!"

"Three blind ______ In Asia, its not 3 blind mice. It's 3 blind rice."

"A cannibal tried a bite of my kidney He said it was offal"

"Ugly people with great bodies should be required to wear a sign on their back with a picture of their face on it."

"What's the difference between jam and marmalade? You can't marmalade your dick down your girlfriend's throat."