66200

Joke of the Day

"I started a business selling landmines that resemble prayer mats. Prophets are through the roof."

"So my dog told me it was into BDSM So I tied it up and turned on the vacuum cleaner"

"I asked my friend who is a porn cameraman about his work He said it's a hard job."

"I opened the microwave without knocking and caught my hot dogs touching tips."

"I got a resume from a kid with the last name ""Arriola"". I'm bringing him in for an interview solely to make nipple jokes."

"If it weren't for twitter I wouldn't know what it feels like to go unnoticed. Just kidding, I'm married. I know exactly how that feels."

"What is ""Paulie"" Pennino's favorite restaurant? Red Robin... Ya Bum"

"7yr old: The Tooth Fairy didn't come last night. *wipes tear* Me: Sorry sweetie, she probably got drunk and passed out on the couch."

"What did the goat say to his friend after he cut his arm? I'm bleating all over the place!"

"Baked turkey for 4 and a half days - instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108! #MyProblem"