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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a prostitute with white eyes? Full up."
Next Joke
"""why aren't you in school?"" ""i'm too cool for school, officer."" *checks cop computer* ""checks out, youre free to go."" kid is undercover nerd"
"Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in."
"ME: [on the phone] Plz come home from work WIFE: Why ME: Theres a spider in the bathroom WIFE: so kill it ME:[whispering] its got my gun"
"Stop earbuds from tangling by putting them on then carefully stapling them to your body. Who's ready for music? Not you. You have tetanus"
"""Good for you"" was said unsarcastically only that first time."
"I was arrested on my way to school today on suspicion of being a terrorist Turns out I bombed the test"
"Anyone have any sex laying around they're not using I could borrow?"
"What do you find in a church's bathroom? Holy shit."
"How many cow-lories does a cheeseburger have? Moo many..."