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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't the penguin turn around in the phone booth? Because he had a javelin through his head."

"Why can't truck drivers ever fully retire? Because they can only semi retire."

"If weed becomes legalized after Snoop Dog dies He'll be rolling in his grave"

"This is a better joke than feminism. Just kidding, there's no better joke than feminism."

"HER:I love Tolstoy's take on the human moral struggle ME:*Trying to impress* See I prefer Tolstoyee 3 where Woody was in the trash compactor"

"What's the difference between rock and jazz? Rock is playing three chords for a thousand people. Jazz is playing a thousand chords for three people."

"Whenever I talk about me and friend doing something, it's a good bet that my friend is actually a pizza."

"The cannibal priest told his flock to close their eyes and say grace. ""For whosoever we are about to eat may the Lord make us truly thankful."""

"They call me Metal Gear Because my snake is solid"

"What do you call a bovine beauty pageant winner? A big Miss Steak."