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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between rock and jazz? Rock is playing three chords for a thousand people. Jazz is playing a thousand chords for three people."

"""I don't understand why people try to act drunk. I spend most of my time trying to act sober."" - Florida State"

"Why do girls never propose Because as soon as she gets on her knees, she starts unzipping him"

"whoever thinks money doesn't bring happiness, transfer it to my account."

"Catch Pokemon? No thanks. I'm STD- Free."

"A scarecrow just won a Nobel prize. It was for being out-standing in his field."

"I don't know why smokey the bear carries a shovel, but it scares the shit out of me."

"What's the definition of a good buddy? [NSFW] A guy that goes into town and gets two blow jobs. Then comes back and gives you one."

"[hospital] SON: I came as soon as I heard. What happened? DAD: The oying hit me SON: What's an oying? DAD: You are, kiddo *dies*"

"I could make some serious money selling nude pics of myself to bulimics with short fingers."