214212

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fsh"

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, WOW! that one REALLY looked female."

"One good way to prepare for marriage is to have someone come over and critique the way you load the dishwasher."

"I ask that my remains me kept in an urn... ...and whoever keeps the urn squirts some lotion in there periodically because you guys know I can't stand being ashy."

"(Cargo pants filled with tater tots) ""How many do I need to get an Xbox?"" ""Sir, that's not how Toys for Tots works."" ""FALSE ADVERTISING!"""

"Prince's housekeeper of 30 years was offered a job as a crime scene investigator. She was considered highly qualified due to her decades of experience dusting for Prince."

"My daughter has reached that age where she is asking embarrassing questions about sex. Just this morning she said ""is that the best you can do?""."

"What do you call the process of a robot clearing its artificial nose? An olfactory reset."

"What do you call a fat Chinese person? Double Chin"

"Statistically if driving a stake through the heart kills vampires, we're all vampires."