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Joke of the Day

"A nice way to tell someone their breath stinks, ""well I'm bored,let's go brush our teeth"" in mid convo"

"69% of people... find something dirty in every fucking sentence."

"CREATION OF MAN God: And as they age, they shall lose all the hair on their heads and grow more in their ears & noses Angel: Yes, my Liege"

"Who wants to hear an awesome knock knock joke? Okay, you start."

"The father of Mike Davidson, what's his full name? David Mikesdaad"

"Love voicemails from my grandma that start with ""hello?....HELLO??..."" and end with her trying to dial another number."

"Actually, I thought 50 Shades Of Grey was about Taco Bell meat."

"What happened to Windows 9 Windows 7 ""Eight"" Nine..."

"I once farted in an Apple Store and everyone got pissed.. It's not my fault they don't have Windows"

"Kidnappers: We have your husband. Send us $10,000 if you ever want to see him again. Me: Where I should drop off his clothes?"