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Joke of the Day

"When I get in an elevator, before I press a button I look at everyone inside and say ""Are you ready to take this sh*t to a whole new level?"""

"Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?"

"Yo' mama is so stupid... (OC) She thinks Salmonella is a Disney fish princess."

"What do you call someone who doesn't like The Simpsons? A Homerphobe! LOL! Just made that up!"

"Why did the devil buy so many shoes? He wanted their soles."

"I ""pet zone"" girls. It's like the friend zone, but, I only hang out if your dog will be there."

"If at first you don't succeed... Skydiving is not for you."

"A man brings his wife as Aspirin... She says, 'Why did you bring me this? I don't have a headache.' He says, 'Good, let's fuck!'."

"A man walks into a bar.... the bar is then raised to prevent anyone else from walking into it."

"Pretty cool that the letters ""B.J."" stand for the two greatest things in the world: beef jerky & Billy Joel."