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Joke of the Day

"*walks up to Michael Cohen's door* ""Knock knock."" ""Who's there?"" ""Says."" ""Says who?"" ""THE POLLS. ALL OF THEM."""

"When you go in the other room I ask your dog what you look like naked."

"What do you call a wookie in concentration camp? Jewbacca"

"if i opened my Gryffindor Would you Slytherin?"

"Why don't blind people skydive? It scares the fuck out of the dogs."

"What happened when the cannibal crossed the Atlantic on the QE2? He told the waiter to take the menu away and bring him the passenger list!"

"A wife comes home and says, ""Pack your bags, honey, I just won the lottery!"" The guy says, ""Great darling. Should I pack for the ocean or the mountains?"" She says, ""I don't care, get out!"""

"50 cent filed for bankruptcy he only had 50 cents"

"I don't like my financial adviser. He put the ""douche"" in Fiduciary"

"After seeing the ""Women don't talk much in Star Wars"" video... Maybe that's how they got so much done"