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Joke of the Day
"Have you seen www.quicksand.com? Yes but it hasn't sunk in yet."
Next Joke
"They told me i had type A blood. But it was a type O."
"My computer crashed a few hours into writing my paper looks like I'm gonna have to write my name and the date again"
"Apparently when your wife asks you to get your toddler off your bed she doesn't mean knock him off with a pillow"
"[Produce Aisle] Sir, we're going to have to ask you to leave. *mouthful of like 20 grapes * ""That lady took one too!!"""
"me: maybe those nazi salutes... we're just them reaching for the stars... McDonald's manager: this is the fastest I've ever fired someone"
"I only chill with professional alcoholics!!!"
"I name photos of me stroking animals in files called ""Fireworks and big dogs.jpg"" so my cats won't find them on my computer."
"TIFU by falling asleep on the john at noon. I meant Job. I fell asleep on the Job. :D :D"
"I lost 130 pounds of useless fat! Divorce is great!"