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Joke of the Day

"I only chill with professional alcoholics!!!"

"A very curious customer asked a local tomato farmer if their tomatoes are genetically modified. ""No."" Said the farmer ""No."" Said the tomato"

"A porn star comes running up to a laundromat just as it's closing, offering to trade sex so she can wash her clothes. [nsfw] She just wanted to get one more load in."

"How do you make a Venetian blind? Poke him in the eye"

"I can turn anything into a boomerang just by throwing it straight up"

"Therapist: How's your narcissism? Much better I thin...*sees my ex walking by* [opens window] HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE I BROKE UP WITH YOU!"""

"How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None"

"I tried to be friends with my computer mouse But he's too cliquey."

"I was playing guitar then my 2 year old took my guitar pick and dropped it somewhere. ""Where is my pick,"" I said. He replied ""Oink Oink! "" I repeated the question but got the same answer every time."

"Top reddit posters should use their karma to help the environment They are already experts at recycling."