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Joke of the Day

"I think my wife is changing our son's diapers too often. It says right on the box that they're good for up to 14lbs."

"I was wondering where my new axe had gone... ...Then it hit me."

"Somebody finally wrote a book about clock fetishes It's about fucking time."

"How do you tell if Lady Gaga is dead? You poker face!"

"Have you ever seen Gregor Clegane fight? It'll blow your mind. . . . . I'm sorry."

"What does Zeus wear under his tunic? Thunderwear!"

"Separation anxiety is common among toddlers, dogs, and would-be divorcees finding out how much divorcing costs."

"I don't see why we're worried about running out of resources. I mean, how many people can there be in the world? Like a million?"

"one time i slam dunked a basketball so good we were out of school for a week people just needed time to process"

"I think i just wrote a joke out of my pathetic love life while fixing supper and here it goes. What does a bachelor eat the most? Balonely sandwiches."