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Joke of the Day

"A skeleton walks into a bar... and asks for a beer and a mop."

"The principal at my school called me in to his office today. He said ""I've just had a rock thrown through my window, are you responsible?"" No, I'm irresponsible. That's why I threw it."

"Girlfriend: ""babe it's hot I need a fan"" [Boyfriend starts taking pictures with her and BEGGING for autographs]"

"""UK Students Die In Safari Crash"" I bet they wished they'd just stuck with Internet Explorer now."

"DNA doesn't make you a parent. Stepping on a lego guy on your way to the bathroom at 3 am does"

"This hating of people breastfeeding in public should really stop. I can raise my cat any way I want to."

"Sex is like a box if chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."

"I finally admitted to my girlfriend, ""I think I struggle with gender issues... ...because whenever I see you girl, I realize I wanna be inside a woman's body."""

"What was Hitler's favorite kind of juice? Concentrated."

"Why are your kids like drugs? Because the law says you shouldn't do them, but it feels *sooooo* good - until you wake up the next day and just want to flat-out kill yourself."