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Joke of the Day

"What do Grateful Dead fans say when they run out if weed? Who's playing this Shit?"

"What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy? Oh no not snake and pygmy pie again!"

"The sexts are coming from inside the house!"

"Me: Waitress, can I ask you something about the menu please Waitress [slaps my face]: The men I please, that's none of your business"

"Every day I swallow a piece of gum in the hopes that one day I will fart a bubble large enough to fly me around the world"

"When I was a child, I wanted to be a surgeon. But apparently I was too young!!"

"Overheard 2 dad's at the playground wondering if my kid was as creepy as me. Joke's on them. I don't have kids."

"What do you call a herd of masturbating cows? Beef strokin' off"

"A Jedi Knight was singing Livin' On A Prayer. It was Obi Wan Bon Jovi"

"What's the difference between a catholic and and a catoholic? One is devoted to following to rules laid down by those who consider their will that of the divine. The other is a type of christian."