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Joke of the Day

"I don't like public bathrooms because people look at me weird when I fully submerge my penis in urinal water to pee."

"""Subpar accommodations. One star."" - Oldest known TripAdvisor rating for Bethlehem."

"Why do we hit things when they don't work? Because it worked with slavery"

"What do you call a nun in a wheelchair Virgin mobile"

"I work for the world's largest nanotechnology company... We're not very good."

"Boys, if you don't look like Calvin Klein models, don't expect us to look like Victoria's Secret Angels."

"Jajajajajajaja is either a Mexican laughing or a German having sex."

"Someone called me lazy today, I almost replied"

"Why was the guitar teacher arrested? For fingering A Minor."

"This cracked me up at work tonight! Did you hear about the famous actress that slit her throat tonight? What's her name? Reese... Reese Witherspoon? No with a knife"