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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a nun in a wheelchair Virgin mobile"

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"I don't mind people that stick their noses in the air. It makes it that much easier to trip them or push them down 10 flights of stairs."
"My black friend asked me if there's a colored printer in the library. I said ""Shit man, it's 2015 you can use whatever printer you want!"""
"Have you ever heard of the similarities between a choo choo tran and a brthday? Neither have i"
"ATTORNEY: my client would like to confess ME: i sell human organs on the black market JUDGE [who needs a kidney transplant]: tell me more"
"My first escort... was a Ford"
"So, the Muslim word for sin is haram... ... does that mean a Muslim's sinful girlfriend would be called a... Haram bae? I'll see myself out."
"If the police really wanted DUI checkpoints to be effective, they'd set them up inside Taco Bell drive-thrus."
"Girl, you gotta be tired coz you been runnin through my mind all day. Note to self, stop saying that pickup lines to the girls in wheelchairs."
"What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub? Throw in your laundry."