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Joke of the Day

"I promise you that there are three types of people in this world. Those who keep their promises, and those who don't."

"I don't think people should throw stones in regular houses either."

"""And this is my creepy husband, John."" (The way my friend should introduce her husband)"

"Silver and Lead are sitting in a bar when Gold walks in ... Silver yells ""AU get outta here"""

"What do you say to your floating TV at midnight? PUT IT DOWN, NIGGER!"

"Why is there no ""Lets settle this like women""? Because it lasts forever."

"This guy on the subway has piercings on both sides of his neck. Mary Shelley would be so proud of her modern influence."

"The story of Snow White teaches us something very important: NEVER eat fruit."

"""So what kind of work do you do?"" ""I move cows"" ""Oh , so you're a rancher?"" ""Not really , I'm a zumba instructor"""

"Inspecting mirrors is a job I could totally see myself doing."