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Joke of the Day

"What did Matthew McConaughey have to say about the 2016 Oscar-winner's line-up? All white, all white, all white!"

"How does Bilbo take his tea? Bag-in"

"What's the best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus."

"When I was a kid my mother stopped breast feeding me. I asked her why and she says ""hey, I just wanna be friends."""

"What's the best part about having sex with a gilf? You can finger her and grab her titties with one hand at the same time. ;)"

"Me: Are these your kids? Boss: ""Yep"" They're gorgeous! ""Thanks"" Step kids? ""Nope"" Adopted? ""No.."" .. "".."" She's cheating on you.. ""Get out"""

"Did you hear about the motorbike who came out to his parents? He was bi-cycle"

"What time did Sean Connery arrive at the Wimbledon? Tennish"

"Why was the fruit farmer losing money? He couldn't grow a pear"

"What's your amplitude for charm-strange mixing?"