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Joke of the Day

"Emperor Augustus throws down his pen in disgust... Emperor Augustus throws down his pen in disgust, exclaiming: ""I can't believe it's February and I'm still writing B.C. on all of my checks!"""

"Say what you like about pacifists... ..."

"What is something that Ronda Rousey and myself both have in common? We only last 48 seconds."

"I intend to live forever... or die trying."

"Guys, women can spot another woman at 10 paces and tell you if she's wearing 5"" or 6"" heels. She knows exactly what, 6""+ looks like."

"My favorite part of the song is the beginning when the rapper goes ""Uh oh"" like both he and you are about to embark on an unexpected journey"

"What's the male equivalent of a feminist? A sexist."

"a fish walks into a bar..... the bartender asks ""what will it be?"" Fish replies "" am dying for a glass of water."""

"What can you find between the toes of the African elephant? Slow Africans."

"Why can't Chinese have Caucasian children? Because two Wongs don't make a white."