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Joke of the Day
"What's black and always behind bars? Guinness (You bunch of racists)"
Next Joke
"Are you the energizer bunny cause you just keep going and going through my mind."
"I pet my dog and he didn't wag his tail. Is he seeing someone else? Is the magic gone? Do we need to spice things up? I'll dress like a cat."
"What do you call a dog that wisely saves money for retirement? A 401(K-9)."
"My son said he didn't think Seinfeld was funny Turns out he's not the Wiz"
"RIP 2012 (2012-2012)"
"Women don't know what they want. Men don't know what they have."
"Mommy, why am I getting Christmas presents in November? Because it's cheaper than chemotherapy."
"Nurse: You need to eat or you can't have your pain meds. Me: Do the thing. Nurse: Me: Nurse: *holding fork* [sigh]*makes airplane noise*"
"Captain: You're suspended. Turn in ur badge and gun. [he does, but immediately grows a new badge and gun] Godammit, u were born to be a cop."