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Joke of the Day

"Why don't jews have arranged marriage? They have no 'forced kin'. I'm so sorry"

"Where's the best place to hide after a murder? Behind a badge"

"Trump has no mistresses... He has alternative fucks."

"Grad school is my excuse for everything. No text back? Grad school. Havent called in weeks? Grad school. I ate your last donut? Grad school!"

"Men are great masochists After all, they spend most of the teen years beating themselves while looking for someone to do it for them"

"I wish boxing was like wrestling so when the ref was distracted Manny Pacquiao would run in & hit Floyd Mayweather with a Stone Cold Stunner"

"Got head from a Midget last night... I guess you could say I was blown out of proportion..."

"Video games and dicks What's the difference between video games and dicks? Video games take longer to beat."

"what did the hat say to the other hat? ""you go on ahead."" I'd like to thank Twitternation, Steve Wozniak, Adam Schefter, @MattGroening and anyone else who helped me achieve this great feat!"

"Why can't T-rex's clap? Cause they're dead."