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Joke of the Day

"Kids' complaints on vacation: - No wifi on beach - Sand is sandy - Ocean has salt in it - Lobsters? I want pizza. - Too outdoorsy outside"

"Why did the vampire go to hospital? He wanted his ghoulstones removed."

"Bono and the Edge walk into a bar Barman says ""not you two again"""

"I went through and unfollowed everyone who is better looking than me. It took a lot longer than I thought it would."

"a spider dropped onto me this morning and I was just really excited that someone else was in bed with me"

"Why was I arrested for only 1 year with a $5,000 fine after killing an unarmed African-American man? On charges of ""impersonating a police officer""."

"What do you call a Muslim pilot? A hijacker"

"Apparently ""Which one?"" wasn't the best answer when my gf's dad asked me ""What are your intentions with my daughter?"""

"Trainer: have you been sticking to your diet? Me: *tries to mumble yes but a chicken wing falls out of my mouth*"

"The comedian made an entire audience laugh without speaking a single word No joke"